By Jim Beard
On October 29, MARVEL APES reaches its screeching, hooting, gibbering conclusion— and you've got a front row seat on the whole three-ring circus.
The Marvel Apes seem willing to spread the action to the real Marvel Universe, but getting series scribe Karl Kesel to open up on the particulars can be like trying to peel an under-ripe banana.
"It takes place at the dimensional doorway between the Monkey and Marvel Universes," the writer says of the coming clash of worlds. "There is something there that becomes very important in the climax, but I'm not saying what."
In lieu of concrete information, we took it upon ourselves to imagine a few of the fantastic fights that readers may see in MARVEL APES #4 and the possible victors.
Warning: no actual gorillas, orangutans, chimpanzees, or bonobos were harmed during this speculation.
Captain America vs Ape Captain America
Both these patriotic primates possess superb skill, strength, and strategy, and their battle will most likely be the most brutal of all—but in the end the ape Cap's long experience and ruthless streak could get the better of neophyte James "Bucky" Buchanan and make the young, human Cap see a few stars.
Winner: Ape Captain America
Spider-Man vs Spider-Monkey
These two swingin' super heroes may start thrashing it out with the best of them, flinging webs and cracking wise, but we think we see some common ground here
and envision Peter Parker and his prehensile-tailed counterpart realizing they could have a better time with a few espressos at the Coffee Bean than fighting.
Winner: Draw
Iron Man vs Iron Mandrill
Putting aside the very idea of a simian in high-tech armor, we just don't think Iron Mandrill takes his job as seriously as the human Tony Stark—and when the repulsor rays start flashing and the armor starts clashing, well, we're putting our hard-earned shekels on the cool exec with a heart of steel.
Winner: Iron Man
Wolverine vs Ape Wolverine
Logan's the best at what he does—but what's his ape counterpart best at? Flinging
poo? Impetuous and mischievous, the hairier Wolvy might get a few good cuts in but when the chips are down and the pressure's on, it's the human mutant with the adamantium skeleton who'll come out on top.
Winner: Wolverine
Speedball vs Ape Speedball
Apes invented bouncing around. 'Nuff said.
Winner: Ape Speedball
There you have it, True Believers; the best Marvel Apes speculation on the Internet. Don't accept substitutes! What's that you say? What about the fabulously furry Gibbon?
Thankfully, writer Kesel's willing to say a few words about MARVEL APES' breakout star:
"In some broad, loose ways, MARVEL APES is like 'Lord of the Rings,' and Gibbon is its Frodo. What he does in the story is vitally important, but it's not necessarily the big action hero thing. I've always liked the message that you don't have to be the biggest, strongest one around to be a hero—
the hero, even—and that's certainly the case with the Gibbon."
Get your monkey suit out of mothballs and join the fun and fighting in MARVEL APES #4, due out October 29!
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